A few days ago I found out that one of the kids I used to work with when I was running an after school program was shot. It was a gang related shooting and it seems that they are happening at least once a week in this small area of the city I used to call home. I have mixed feelings about this because when I was working with him over two years ago I already knew that he was involved with gangs.

I remember pulling him aside from the group and talking to him about the choices he was making. I also talked to his parents about this as well. It got to the point where his behavior was becoming unacceptable based on the programs discipline standards and I had to remove him from the program. Back then I thought that everyone needs to learn that there are consequences to their actions and that if something was ever to happen to him I wouldn’t feel sorry for him.

Now that this has happened I’m not sure how I feel. Part of me still feels the same way I did when I was still with the program, while another part of me feels that I have failed him by removing him from the program. It seems that all these kids that are killing each other are victims of indifference. It’s hard to simplify these situations as just “gang activity”, there is a larger reason for it all and from my experience the one to blame is our own apathy.

I don’t know why I decided to put these thoughts down on a DA journal; I just needed to tell someone. Leave comments and thoughts if you like.